i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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