Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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