Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
