I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
