sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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