Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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