I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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