What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize