I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
