You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
