R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
