No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
