Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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