bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.