Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere

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  (301): Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere http://tfl.nu/ptau
  Replies (4) Good night (1572) Bad night (570)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I cockslap morals

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  (917): I cockslap morals http://tfl.nu/zqeh
  Replies (5) Good night (3165) Bad night (604)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?

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  (617): is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again? http://tfl.nu/0m4c
  Replies (13) Good night (2740) Bad night (635)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?

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  (561): So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell? http://tfl.nu/0nz8
  Replies (44) Good night (7604) Bad night (1187)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I'm down.

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  (519): We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents (1-519): I'm down. http://tfl.nu/zb30
  Replies (23) Good night (3167) Bad night (1007)
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  (949): View more from California

  just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.

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  (949): just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name. http://tfl.nu/0fqx
  Replies (9) Good night (4453) Bad night (1373)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

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  (804): my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2 http://tfl.nu/hna9
  Replies (9) Good night (1551) Bad night (3046)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.

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  (757): I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it. http://tfl.nu/htjg
  Replies (10) Good night (3161) Bad night (1311)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate

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  (508): i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate http://tfl.nu/vubl
  Replies (16) Good night (6082) Bad night (940)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.

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  (615): I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1nuc
  Replies (7) Good night (1123) Bad night (726)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.

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  (570): She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/lhd6
  Replies (0) Good night (1327) Bad night (442)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?

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  (515): Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this? http://tfl.nu/vht4
  Replies (6) Good night (821) Bad night (536)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.

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  (913): If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on. http://tfl.nu/4zva
  Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (363)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.

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  (256): IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST. http://tfl.nu/uq83
  Replies (5) Good night (286) Bad night (517)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...

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  (850): she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top... http://tfl.nu/vvwb
  Replies (3) Good night (235) Bad night (671)

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