google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems