FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
