coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize