seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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