I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
