i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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