You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
