honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
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Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize