she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
