the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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