he wants to bone in the snuggie
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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