There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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