That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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