margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize