Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
