She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize