First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize