Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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