Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
