i just wanna soil my oats bro
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
