It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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