Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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