Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
