I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize