operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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