I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
