All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
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I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
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I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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