The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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