I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
