she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize