how can u be prego again
that's an acceptable place to lick
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
