and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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