ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
