super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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