My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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