Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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