he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
