I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
