After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
