I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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